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Guy Mason - August 2012

01 Aug 2012

Ten years

Last month my wife and celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  

It was a fantastic time to share, reflect, give thanks to God for our journey and set the course for the road ahead.

In light of this I thought I’d share with you something I’ve previously written about, namely: “Why I date my wife”.  

Marriage is such a wonderful special gift.  Yet, I know for many of us men we can take our marriage for granted.   The love and romance that brought us together is often left at the altar and, as such, our wives feel devalued, unloved and as though the best days are behind them.  

In the bible we find a strong word for married men – “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church.” (Eph. 5:25)

It’s my responsibility to love my wife in such a way that when she thinks of me, she thinks of Christ.  I am to serve my wife with sacrificial love.  I am to protect and provide for my wife both physically and spiritually.  I am to lay down my life for my wife.

In this we must pursue our wives with passionate and persevering love.  We don’t pursue a woman to marry her and stop pursuing her. We pursue a woman to marry her and pursue her with more passion and creativity than ever.

All women of course are different – and need to be loved specifically. 

Some feel loved when we buy gifts, for others it’s cuddles on the couch, for others it’s words that matter most. 

When it comes to my wife it’s acts of service.  She has a saying: “I love hugs, I love kisses – what I love most is help with the dishes!” 

The key is to ask your wife these questions: “What is it that I say or do that makes you feel most loved?”

One of the practical ways to keep the flame alive is by having regular “date nights”. Your date night doesn’t have to cost you an arm and a leg (though a bit of a splurge is ok) – the important thing is that you’re out together and having fun.  

My wife and I have a regular date night for a number of reasons:

Firstly, dating your wife keeps the romance alive. Plan out your date nights. Ask your wife in advance what sounds good, see what the options are, and make a plan.

Secondly, dating your wife builds intimacy.  By meeting up regularly for conversation and interaction we build our understanding of each other and help grow together. Date nights are an opportunity to ask inviting questions, listen and learn about her. It’s also a night to open up and let her do the same.  

Thirdly, date nights are an opportunity to say thanks. 

My wife stays home full-time to manage our two energetic children.  Date night is an opportunity for me to say how thankful I am for what she does.

Fourthly, date nights are an opportunity to demonstrate that we know our wife.  It’s important that we study our wives and plan dates accordingly.

When you tailor a night to her tastes, interest and passion you demonstrate that within all the business of your day – her life is still at the forefront of your mind.

Fifthly, by making time for date nights, we deliver a message of commitment to our wives.  It demonstrates our desire to make marriage work despite the obstacles and challenges.

Lastly, if we don’t date our wives – someone else may eventually volunteer for the job.

Guy Mason is the pastor of City on a Hill, a church that is committed to making a difference in Melbourne for the glory of God.  The services are on Sundays at 8.45am, 10.30am (Hoyts, Melbourne Central) and 6pm (Arrow, 488 Swanston St).

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