Life lessons

By Abby Crawford

Lessons are what you get when you don’t get what you want. Life lessons, apparently. At least that was what someone who was “trying” to help pointed out.

“You just need to learn the lesson,” she said. What bloody lesson? The lesson that is there to be learnt when things go wrong.

It’s so infuriating. Somehow, when someone has done completely the wrong thing by you, you’re the one who has something to learn. I tell you what, sometimes you just want to be allowed to completely lose it in a fit of fury, take frustration out with some good plate smashing and scream profanities until you collapse in an exhausted heap. And then, if you so desire, let loose with a dramatic “humph” and release the crescendo of tears. And wait for someone to come and clean you up and cuddle you and fix it. I know, it sounds exactly like a three-year old tantrum. But a tantrum is what I wanted to have.

Instead, I’m “trying” to be an adult and see the lesson. This is what I’ve got so far …

People will rip you off. You might think you’ve got a good people radar; you might feel reassured by the contract and you might believe your due diligence means something. Let me tell you, if someone is going to rip you off, none of that matters.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter that you’re right, you still just have to move on. This one really is unfair. But the way it works is that there comes a point when you just don’t have the resources to fight for what is right. It’s not giving up – it’s seeing the situation for what it really is. If your contractor steals money from you and declares bankruptcy, there’s just shit all you can do about it.

Waiting for karma to kick in can take a really, really long time. So, you just have to forget about it all and move on. After all, said contractor doesn’t care you’ve been set back by a few years by their fraudulent ways but staying angry and bitter is just prolonging the scenario in your own headspace and not theirs.

So that’s it, that’s the three lessons I got. A fairly bleak graduation in the school of being ripped off. And sadly, when you’re in the graduating class you turn around and realise there’s a hell of lot of other people who are in the same boat. And all you have is the lessons that were learnt. And it really isn’t fair, but you just have to get on with it. And when you do get on with it, it is a bit of a silver lining to see the people that step up to help work out the mess. The new contractors who go the extra mile, the friends and family who dust you off and get you back on your feet are actually a timely reminder of what really does matter in life.

So, my conclusion is that even though we sometimes just have to accept that terrible things have happened, the real lesson to remember is, “a lie doesn’t become truth, wrong doesn’t become right, and evil doesn’t become good, just because it’s accepted” – Rick Warren.

Just hold your head high and walk on. Because sometimes, there’s just nothing you can do, and that’s okay. Pick your battles and leave the morally bankrupt in the gutters where they fall •