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What Women Want - With Abby Crawford Image

What Women Want - With Abby Crawford

Do not fear how love can hurt you

What Women Want September 2010

31 Aug 2010

A friend of mine has asked me to organise his wedding. This is odd for so many reasons.

Now don’t get me wrong, I can throw a pretty damn good party and I’ve had a turn at organising weddings with pretty good results (as far as the co-ordinated themes and catering go anyway!), so I think I’m an excellent choice to organise a spectacular bash. I mean that it’s odd that it’s the guy who’s asked me. He’s straight, he’s attractive, he’s successful and – he’s getting married. But more than that, he seems to be more excited than his lucky fiancée ...  

I’ve heard of a few men who have proposed in well thought out and romantic ways, but  I’m thinking it’s unusual for the guy to be the one who is keen to get the date sorted, the event booked, the friends there to celebrate, etc. Maybe it’s just my experience (and my group of single friends!), but I have found that most men these days are more likely to want to pull their fingernails out with pliers than say the big “I DO”.

What’s with that? Why do some men run screaming at the thought of making a commitment to a girl, even a girl they love ... It’s like a massive Peter Pan complex has taken over their brain and the idea of growing up is just way too much. Or perhaps more specifically, the idea of growing up with just one girl is way too much!

I admit, I have seen a bride-to-be or two franticly racing through venues, hunting down “dove-releasing” special effects (here’s a hint: only use doves if you have an outdoor ceremony. Still haunts me being a guest where THAT wasn’t thought of!) and stressing out catering companies.

I will say (in the most friendly way) that some were momentarily turned into “bridezillas”. And of course I’ve also seen some absolutely divinely calm and organised brides pull together beautiful weddings and take all the organising in their stride with grace and elegance.  

But I have to say that very rarely have I witnessed the guy saying, “hey, I love you, and I want to give this marriage thing a crack. I’ll make a few calls and get it sorted”. Nope, definitely don’t see that often.

It has impressed me enormously to see my friend be so clear and calm about what he wants. And to act on how he feels. I think that’s the biggest difference. So often we all might think of wonderful things to do and say to our partners, but we don’t often follow through. We expect that they know what we’re thinking and feeling. But the truth is that unless it’s communicated or shown to that person, they’re simply not going to know.

So if you’ve been thinking of showing someone you care, make the effort to follow through and get the message across. If you’re nervous, be strong and just say what you mean, from the heart, and watch doors just open.

I think my friend’s fiancée is a very lucky woman. She has a man who respects and loves her, and he’s making sure she knows just how much he can take care of her. Fingers crossed her bridesmaids like apricot, and she always secretly wanted a Vegas themed wedding (just kidding!).

Have a great month everyone, and why not try showing – as well as telling - someone how much you love them.

Abby xx

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