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What Women Want - June 2019

29 May 2019

Don’t be afraid to stop and have a little nap

Sometimes “getting on” with things just feels really super difficult. Like impossibly hard.

And it’s easy to find yourself wanting to just skip out of all the intense, go-getter, motivational “hustle” and just have, well, a nap. Or something restful.

Something that means you don’t really have to talk to other people, or deliver on any deliverables, or even be presentable in any way (I still don’t see what’s wrong with shopping in your Ugg boots, but anyway, apparently it’s not ok).

Other times, it seems that there just aren’t enough hours in the day! It’s all exciting, there’s goals to achieve, ideas to brainstorm and a multitude of things to action. It’s a race to an imaginary finish line and you’re pumped and ready.

You’re in charge, you know what you want, how to get there – or at least how to change directions if the path you’re on turned out not to be the right direction after all. But you get what I mean – on these days you are pretty much invincible, in such positive spirits, a confident frame of mind, you know you’re unstoppable and you’re just energetically happy about it.

So how do we find ourselves with these contradictory ways? How do we grapple with these distinct sets of attitudes, both of which are so convincing at the time?

The days of “dis-interest” in our goals can have us dreaming of re-invention. I often find myself on these days dreaming about a complete lifestyle change – being a yoga teacher in a calm, organically-fragranced studio at a mountain base, deep in meditation, or dreaming I’ve won lotto and am a magnificent philanthropist bringing great peace and resolution to worthy causes … I truly feel that I need to “throw it all in” and find another direction for my life, for my soul.

And on the days of intense “interest” in our goals, we can be determinedly focused on achieving all we set out to do in business and indeed life, without so much as a bat of the eyelids at the volume of work we undertake, the commitments we squeeze in a day or the gross underestimation of sleep requirements we make.

We, or at least I am convinced that these days are the true reflection of who I am and what I want. A realist determined to succeed and prepared to put in the hard yards to make it happen.

I sharpen the pencil and add to the business plans, I think of the things around the home that need attention (this usually involves a good shop to re-style everything!), and I make plans with friends to catch up in our “spare time”. It all seems so possible, and a hive of activity results.

If you’re finding that the above resonates with you, then don’t – as I did – stress that maybe you’ve got some undiagnosed multiple-personality disorder. And it’s unlikely that you’re bi-polar or that anything is actually “wrong” at all.

Chances are high that, like me, you’ve just been so incredibly passionate about achieving the things you’ve wanted to achieve, the picture you’ve painted, that you just have forgotten to also take the time to rest and unwind. Chances are high that, like me, you’ve had some incredibly inspiring people to motivate and support you and that has meant that you feel so lucky to have some incredible opportunities in front of you, that you just haven’t even wanted to take weekends off. Chances are high that, like me, you’ve probably worked through the weekends and without realising you’ve pushed yourself so hard on all levels that it is literally your body, mind and soul begging to be nurtured that has resulted in these random days of not feeling like “getting on” with things.

The biggest problem we have as wonderfully driven, passionate women is that we often overlook taking care of ourselves. We are so engaged on so many levels, with so many opportunities, that we can ignore the little requests our own bodies are making to us – to stop, reflect, nurture, restore and take great care of ourselves. Life is a delicate dance between great action and patience, determination and restoration, motivation and relaxation.

So this month, if you’re feeling a little weary, if you’re lacking a little oomph in your step, know that you deserve to have that long hot bubble bath, you can indulge in that beautiful glass of red wine, you can take that time to look across the harbour at the glorious sunset. Tomorrow there is plenty of time for all the actions and business, but listen to your soul when it tells you to stop.

What a woman wants is to never run out of energy to achieve all her goals, but what a woman needs to remember is that sometimes resting herself is the very best way to ensure she can achieve everything she has worked so hard for.

Work hard my darlings, but don’t be afraid to stop and have a little nap every now and then. You know we deserve it.

And on an extra special note, my most sincere thank you to Shane who I have worked with for more than a decade. Shane you have always believed in my writing, encouraged me to find a path that was mine, and allowed me to have my voice through this column. My very best wishes to you on your new journey and travels, may there be plenty of naps, beautiful wines and gorgeous sunsets ahead for you, especially after all you have given to us for Docklands News. Thank you,

Abby x

Don’t forget you can reach me at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or join me on insta and fb @abbyjanecrawford. See you there xx

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