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10 years on

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More support for OCs in the new Bill
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What Women Want - With Abby Crawford Image

What Women Want - With Abby Crawford

Do not fear how love can hurt you
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What Women Want August 2010

03 Aug 2010

Have you ever wanted to just run away? You know, the works – pack up and leave. Leave your house, leave your job, leave the city and just start over?

Tends to happen when things don’t quite work out the way you want, when your plans fall over – like really fall over – and you just feel like all the hard work, the dedication, the sacrifice has been for nothing. Feels like the sun won’t shine again. Feels shitty.

What do you do? You brush off your dreams and put a plan in place. First up, you look at every possible option on realestate.com.au! Check it all out, see what you can afford to buy that has a little bit of a paddock for the chickens you swear you’ve always wanted (interesting how they’ve never featured in “the dream” until now), something that has some land (although you wouldn’t even know how to get a lawn mower working), maybe a stable (for the horses you don’t have) and definitely room for a cow (for fresh milk. Hey you could even turn your hand to boutique cheese making. I’m sure that’s not hard!). Can you imagine the hysterics of your neighbours as you run shrieking because the cow moo-ed at you when you grabbed its teat? Then your confusion over how revolting warm full fat milk actually is when you’ve lived on skim lattes for a decade?

But don’t stray from your new plan just yet. It’s important to work out the details of the “new you”.  Like how you’re going to make money now you’ve completely removed yourself from the population. But you don’t need to worry too much because you don’t need to spend too much in your new simple life. How much can a chicken be? And it produces eggs, so it’s an INVESTMENT. Hmm.  Besides there’s a million little hobby businesses you could start. You could make things. Ok, forget that. Maybe you could work your existing role entirely online (note to self: check prices of really big satellite dishes). Who needs meetings when you have a little camera attached to the top of your laptop. It’s just as good as face to face, right?

Well, before you write your proposal to your boss outlining the new strategy of you “only being in the office for a meeting once a month but it not affecting profitability”, check if you are following a dream – or if you are running away. If you are running away, whatever you’re running away from will find its way into your packing boxes and appear right beside you in the new place. Which kind of defeats the purpose. So, this is the part where you grab a nice glass of wine, sit down, take a breath, cry a little, and say goodbye to the bastard that let you down so badly you thought your heart would break. Book a mini-vacation instead of an all out exit strategy. Just trust me on this. And realise that there doesn’t need to be a “new you”, the you that you are is beautiful, you have great friends and a great life and heaps of reasons to stay exactly where you are.

By the second glass of wine, you’re even starting to believe yourself. And you have to. You have to look deep inside and remember that just as quickly as things change for the worse, they can change for the better. Stick to your path, and calmly revise your plans to suit your new situation. When you have really freshened up your goals and you know where you’re heading, you will start to feel like you again. 

Stay strong, stay calm, and figure out your own path in this world. If someone wants to join you on your path, that’s great – let them work hard to show you how they deserve to be part of your life and make them earn your trust. You’re worth it.

Abby x

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