Does the perfect relationship exist?

A very good point was raised the other day. My columns, to date, have been optimistic about the pursuit of love, of a true connection, and of the resulting relationship developments and growth we can experience in that perfect union.

Does such perfection exist? I honestly can’t tell you. But surely it is better to believe so, to have something to hold in our hearts that keeps us strong when we are alone – we want to believe that special someone is just around the next corner, or will appear after we successfully kick arse on our next goal, as though we deserve some divine intervention from cupid because we’ve been good and have earned it.

But what if you are with someone, and it’s close to being great, but it’s not quite the perfect relationship? I have found this to be the most debated question of all.

Many a lengthy discussion has been launched by a very simple statement to friends: “I’m not sure this relationship is enough”.  Of course, every friend has their own opinion and is keen to express it.

They of course are right. In fact, they KNOW and invariably experienced something similar – only worse. The degree to which they know, interestingly enough, seems to go hand in hand with the degree to which they have had more than just a glass of red.  Oh and the other interesting thing is, no matter who the person in question is, it seems unanimous they need to go.

To shouts of  “you deserve better” hasty decisions are made, missions of single outings are decided upon and in the cloud of a hangover the next day, the conviction of those decisions has become a little wobbly and you remember all the good times. 

The way they make you smile, the way no-one else understood you, and you realise how hard it is to pack up the dreams that you have held so tenderly.

So let’s tackle a big, real, and difficult question. How do you know when it’s over, when it’s time to let go.

Let’s face it, if you wake up one day and just can’t stand the sight of the person opposite you, shudder at what used to be cute weird habits and start to mimic the way they slurp their coffee in the morning, it’s a no brainer. No question here, you’re done.

But what if you love someone, in your heart, and the feeling hasn’t changed. It’s just that you realise the relationship really is struggling. It might be about miscommunication, it might be about old hurts that are hard to get past, it might be about the realities of different lives.

But whatever the problem, you find yourself wondering about the picture perfect partner. You know, the one who loves you unconditionally, has no emotional baggage or insecurities and the relationship does not strike one un-harmonious chord.

And you know you deserve that sort of partner, but the facts are – you are in love. So is it over? That’s a hard question, and one that has been asked for eternity, has sold more books and more movies than any other theme – the question of whether you let your head or heart decide.

The jury is out for me, I’m a fence sitter on the head versus heart scenario. I guess I am a true romantic at heart, which means I can argue equally that love is worth fighting for (heart), and as convincingly that everyone deserves a partnership of equality and peace (head). What a Woman Wants is to be able to decide with her heart and her head, and to reach the same conclusion.  

Have a great month, and don’t forget you can email me any questions on What Women Want to
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Abby x