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Do not fear how love can hurt you
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What Women Want - September 2016

31 Aug 2016

Don’t miss the dance

If only I had a crystal ball. If only I could stare into the depths of the star-like formations within the sphere and wait for all to be revealed.

Of course, it would have been damn handy to have this crystal ball a while ago. Like maybe 20 years ago. It could have stopped a lot of pain. It could have saved a lot of grief, disappointment and stopped me from following roads that led nowhere …

Would I really change anything? Absolutely I would. But in all honesty, I think I’d just change small things. Some of my biggest mistakes have led to marvellous outcomes, and some of the hardest roads have led to incredible destinations.

So I’m starting to think you can’t really separate the two – the mistake that introduced you to something wonderful. The road you wished desperately you weren’t on ending up somewhere unexpectedly beautiful. Well, maybe they are meant to be hand in hand.

Maybe there is a reason, however painful or hidden it might be, that life takes you somewhere you don’t want to be before you can be somewhere you do …

So I guess maybe I do still wish I could have a crystal ball to show me where I’m getting to even if I do have to go through hard times before I get there.

Often I sit and look back and I think: gosh if only I’d known how it all would be, it would have been so much easier to get through. But I guess that’s the point. Life is hard on us and then magnificent. It’s cruel then gloriously generous. It breaks our hearts then fills our lives with hope, creating a roller-coaster of a journey. Would you really have it any other way?

Well, in the tough times, the lonely times, the scary times – Yes! I do think I’d like it another way. But then I arrive at the place, the one filled with hope, glory and pride for having survived and overcome the tough times and I think maybe not. Maybe it is all happening the way it’s meant to.

So here’s what I’m doing. Rather than clinging to the banks of the raging river, trying to control the path and where I’m taken, I’m just going to let go. I’m going to let go and let the river carry me.

It’s not giving up, it’s allowing change to happen. It’s letting go of old ideas and old preconceptions. It’s letting go of what I think I wanted and allowing a journey to take me where it wants me to go.

I’ve been fighting to keep doors open, to keep things I’ve started running, to hang on to a vision that has accompanied me my whole life. But now it’s time to let go.

Maybe, just maybe, there’s something even better than I could ever imagine waiting for me. I have no regrets for the path I’ve taken and even though things don’t always work out, it is all part of the journey.

So hang in there, none of us have crystal balls – but you know what? I don’t think we need them. In the words of Garth Brooks: “Our lives, are better left to chance. I could’ve missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance”. And the dance, is worth having.

What a woman wants is to live her life with as little pain as possible but what a woman needs to realise is that some of the greatest things in life are birthed through pain.

Until next month, Abby x

Don’t forget you can reach me at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), thank you for your emails! xx

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