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What Women Want - With Abby Crawford Image

What Women Want - With Abby Crawford

Do not fear how love can hurt you
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What Women Want - September 2011

30 Aug 2011

I’m writing this angrily. Well, maybe that’s too harsh. Just very cross.

I’m punching the keys, they’re click clacking louder than usual. A little cloud of dust is hovering over the keyboard, confused at the stirring up of its otherwise very undisturbed and secure position on the keys. It’s mayhem.

You’d think that there was something incredibly wrong, something dramatic had happened, something awful. As I continue to punch away at the keys, my little finger is starting to hurt, on account of the sudden demands placed on it. But the discomfort is just driving my determination harder.

You’d wonder what an earth had happened … if you’re male.

If you’re female, you’d completely recognise the signs and understand. You’d know that there are regular – or not so regular – times in a woman’s life (like on average, 12 times a year) that you just feel angry. You not only feel angry, you feel sick and very unattractive and quite convinced that the world is a tough place for a woman.

It’s guaranteed that your favourite shoe is missing at this time, and is clearly the only acceptable shoe option – enough to drive anyone over the edge.

You forgot to get milk on the way home – enough to convince yourself you’re completely in over your head on the responsibility stakes and drinking too much wine is the only logical response.

This is backed up by eating the entire box of chocolates you’d been saving for next weekend’s dinner party, then crying the next day because you can’t fit into your running gear and you NEEEEED to go for a run – ‘cos you ate the box of chocolates last night. See how it all works?

Yep, if you’re female, you know these signs. They are the most beautiful signs that signify you’re a woman, with all the wild ups and downs and craziness that can occasionally come from that. It gives us the incredible gift of being able to grow another life inside of us, it gives us passion, it gives us the ability to show immense love, it gives us patience to nurture wee small children into wonderful adults (with battle stories along the way), it gives us the protective strength that helps form a family bond and it give us PMT.

So here’s the headline boys. Deal with it. In fact, do better than that. Accept it. We are doing the best we can in this rollercoaster of a ride, and for the most part, we are very loving and supportive.

But here’s the thing – when you notice that loving and supportive part missing, that’s your cue to provide it. It means WE need it. Yes, just occasionally, we need you to mumble sympathetic sounds and pour hot baths, massage muscles that you can’t even feel in our backs – on account of the alarming and seemingly instant fluid retention – and you need to definitely not notice the pimples appearing on our faces (that’s not what we had in mind either, when you said you wish we could look like teenagers again).

Women are amazing creatures and we are blessed – as well as cursed – with hormones that can overtake our bodies. For the most part, we feel privileged and honoured at the joys it can bring. But here’s a tip – if you see your woman feeling all the insecurities and pain that can come at this time of the month, just hold her closer.

Tell her you love her if you do. Bear the burden, because she sure as hell is usually there for you.  And she’s worth it.

Mother nature knew what she was doing, and selected women to carry this emotional rollercoaster as part of their makeup. She made men with wonderful and incredible qualities too. For the most part, they want to provide and protect as well. So here’s the thing – start with the person beside you. And the world will be a better place.

‘Til next month

Abby xx

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