Feeling content with my life

I’ve never felt so content in my life. I really mean that, even though I’ve had some absolutely marvellous times throughout my life, I’ve never felt this content.

Content is a very different feeling to say, feeling happy. Content is a wonderful state of existence – I still feel all the highs and lows of life, all the excitement and disappointment, all the love and all the pain – it’s just that I feel I have a better base to stand on. Better foundations or something.

I’ve been thinking about this recently, probably due to the fact that I have had two quite close male colleagues ask me the same question – in fact within days of each other.

So it does get you thinking, given they’ve never asked before. And I think they’re asking because I might be giving off a different energy – due to feeling so content!

They have asked straight up: “Don’t you miss having someone to come home to? Not just the sex, but the comfort of another adult human being there at the end of the day?”

I answered each in the same way. I thought about it for a moment, more to reassure them that I’m not taking their question lightly but am in fact deeply contemplating my situation, before I answer: “No, not at all.”

This really confuses them. I think there’s a general – and I know generalisations are dangerous, but work with me here – there’s a general male perception that if you’re a single female then you’re naturally craving physical companionship.

In fact, it might even be a general assumption across the board, that if you’re single then you’re surely “waiting” to meet someone.

And this is why I am feeling so content. Because I’m not. I’m not waiting to meet someone. I am very happy exactly the way my life is going. I love being on my own (I mean as an adult – I adore every day with my son!) and I will be happy to stay on my own if that is the way life goes.

Given it’s pretty much been like this for the last 12 years, I think it’s fair to predict that it’s unlikely to change. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dated a few guys. Some have been lovely but have been at different life stages (such as not quite ready for me, having a young son), whilst others have been wrong in every sense of the word and have brought so much emotional baggage with them that I have rued the day I met them.

However, the silver lining has been that, upon their departure, the clouds lift, the grey skies turn to blue and you are just so grateful and happy to have your lovely, gorgeous, drama-free and peaceful life back. It’s like receiving the gift of realising you had what you were looking for all along!

So for those of you who are restless in life, I hope you find your contentment. And for those who have found your contentment in a place that perhaps you never thought would be your “happy place”, well done. Being content doesn’t mean not dreaming of more, nor does it mean you’re closed to things changing. It just means that you’re happy with the way things are transforming, with where you are and how you live – and that’s pretty powerful.

“Somewhere between what she survived, and who she was becoming, was exactly where she was meant to BE. She was starting to love the journey. And find the comfort in the quiet corners of her wildest dreams. They say people don’t change … Well she wasn’t always this way. Even if she didn’t change the entire world, she would change her part of it. And she would affect the people she shared it with. A butterfly whose wings have been touched, can indeed still fly. Whether something was meant to be, or meant to leave, didn’t matter as much anymore. She would soak up the sun, kiss the breeze and she would fly regardless.” – J Raymond

What a woman wants is to live a life full of love and filled with peace. What a woman needs to realise, is that she doesn’t need someone else to show her that love. It comes from within – and that is pretty peaceful. May it be the summer of your content.

Until next month,
Abby
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