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Do not fear how love can hurt you
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What women want - November 2013

29 Oct 2013

I had reason to think about fairy tales and their place in our lives just the other day.

My aunt overheard her three-year-old granddaughter, who can’t yet read but pretends quite fiercely that she can, as her little pink painted nails flicked the pages confidently reciting her version of the chosen nursery rhyme.

She didn’t know anyone was listening to this particular recital. She was sitting in the lounge room “reading” aloud, whilst my aunt was in another room. Clear as a bell, this tiny voice said:  “Jack, I have had it up to here. Every time I send you up that hill for water, you fall down and break your bloody head. I. Am. Over. It.”

And in kicked reality. Once I could stop laughing (took a long time) – and once we all glossed over the fact a three-year-old was using a “naughty” word with dead set accuracy of context (waved off in moments) - the realisation of how she was viewing life stories was amazing.

She was none the wiser that anyone was witness to this stellar performance, so it was purely her own interpretation, for her own entertainment. Obviously, she has overheard a few “adult” conversations and has, quite rightly, assumed that Jack’s inability to climb the hill time and time again is going to annoy Jill. And so she has adapted and recited the story with a modern twist …

But it does pose an interesting question. Are we seeking the “fairy tale” expecting some picture-perfect relationship, a castle of a home, immaculately successful children, laundry to be done by a wicked step sister and all of this to be achieved without effort, without working at it – without expecting to have to overcome a few frustrations that are inherent to our partner? (personally, I would’ve ditched Jack too, but everyone has their own threshold).

Whilst I don’t think anyone, particularly these days, is actually expecting Prince Charming to come along on his white horse, I think we do still hope for someone amazing to come along and be just perfect – for us – in every way.

Are we chasing fairy tales of perfection, and not recognising when something really good does turn up that just happens to resemble reality? Are we even chasing fairy tales or have we completely binned them and are just cynical from the start?

I do have some friends who are so sceptical of love and happiness finding them, that they have not only given up, but are subconsciously sabotaging any shred of chance along the way. And I have friends who are the polar opposite – die-hard fairy tale pursuers.

I don’t think a lot of us realise that we have inadvertently turned the story into a blueprint for our lives, or the antithesis of our lives as the case might be.

I think it’s time to re-write the story. I think that we should all write our own version, with whatever end (or goal!) would make us happy. It can be whatever you want it to be, as long as it is truly what you want.

I think we should dream big, and throw caution to the wind to pursue what makes us happy, what we believe is right for us. I think we should believe in our own stories, and then, by living our dream, we inherently teach those around us to listen to their own hearts and to find what’s right for them.  

Pursue relentlessly that which makes you happy. Maybe the dream for you IS about a relationship, but maybe it’s about helping those less fortunate, maybe it’s about changing political views, maybe it’s the simplicity of living with peace. Let’s write the story of What Women Want so that it’s your story, and it’s my story.

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful woman named (insert your name here). And she wanted all the things her heart desired, so she went out there, and she got them. It took a lot of work, quite a few wrong turns, and a lot of tears, laughs and wine, but she got them. She also got a lot of adventures along the way, an eclectic group of brilliant friends, and enough memories to last a lifetime. And that, was a story worth living.

Write your own story. I’m writing mine. No princesses, although I am just quietly writing in Prince Charming.

Follow your heart, do what makes you happy, love well and live life.

Till next month,
Abby x
PS you can email me at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
You can also follow me on my newly created @abbyjanecrawford on Instagram, or Abby Jane Crawford on Facebook to share views on life, and What Women Want!
See you there.

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