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What Women Want - With Abby Crawford Image

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Do not fear how love can hurt you

What women want -  March 2015

05 Mar 2015

I am mesmerised by the light that is dancing and bouncing off the crystal tear of the chandelier above my desk.

Its beauty, the perfection of its shape, the edges of each cut of the glass create something that is so fragile and beautiful, and yet so incredibly strong. It is this balance, between beauty and strength, that intrigues me – and on some days eludes me.

It’s eluding me today. Today I want to let the tears run down my face as I stare at the beautiful crystal tear drops above me. The femininity, the purity, the light they represent is juxtaposed against the heaviness of sadness and disappointment.

I feel that, unlike the chandelier, I am not a glass crystal shimmering in beauty and strength but I am shattering into tiny shards. I know it’s temporary. I know it’s because we all get tired of being strong all the time. I know it’s understandable, and we all have bad days. I know that most of the time, I am tougher than a diamond that simply won’t crack under pressure. But we all have our moments.

Thus, my fascination with the chandelier.

The question on my mind is how do we maintain the tough impenetrable exterior, yet still let the light in – still allow hope and love to exist, still relentlessly pursue our dreams – yet maintain our armour.  

The armour is needed against the bitter words of those who cannot understand our happiness or vision, or those who want to chip away at our confidence and progress – those who want to take us down a notch for whatever reason is tying them to their own insecurities – those who want to warn us against proceeding.

After more than a decade of focusing on how to keep a personal barrier firmly in place, I’ve realised we are not glass crystals. We are not meant to be all things beautiful and light whilst constantly hard as diamonds.

As humans, our vulnerabilities are one of our most endearing qualities. As humans, our hopes and dreams should not be tempered by fear of pain or loss.

As humans, we will be under fire from those dear to us from time to time, and as humans, this will hurt. But it mustn’t stop us from going in the direction we believe in our heart to be the path – however thorny and treacherous it may appear to others.  

Finding love in your heart for those who have hurt us with their words, is our armour. Our strength is in forgiving those who can’t understand what our soul desires, and our empathy for those who won’t nurture us on our journey deflects the impact of their departure, and stops our world from shattering.

What a woman wants is to dream, and be able to share her most heartfelt truths with those who are close to her. What a woman needs to know, is that not everyone will see her life the way she knows herself. But what a woman must not do, is build a barricade and become an island unto herself.

I encourage you to all have strength of purpose, to follow your dreams and not allow fear of pain, or discouragement from others, stop you in your tracks. Be strong, be vulnerable, but do not be afraid of what your heart desires.

With much love, and light

Abby x

Don’t forget you can email me at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), thankyou to so many of you who have written to me and shared your stories.

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