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Best of friends
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My view of Docklands; from NewQuay
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A reading room for our community
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A Royal Commission into industry scandals
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What Women Want - June 2011

31 May 2011

Sometimes, you’ve just got to take a deep breath, hold it, slowly exhale and let the blood make it’s way from the very tips of your ears and head back into your body, wiggle your fingers and toes, and try to be rational.

Then, wait a further 24 hours before you respond to the situation that had your blood boiling in the first place.

It’s something that I’ve been trying to do for many years (to various levels of success), but it’s just so easy to get fuelled up on your own emotions and just start shooting from the hip.

Exhilarating, liberating, you let little “facts” fly out of your mouth like bullets seeking their target, with the sole intention of destruction. You feel so empowered to say exactly what you think – it’s only the truth, right? – and leave the person or business in question in no doubt of their shortcomings. Or failings.

In your opinion, of course. Which, at that particular moment, is the only one that counts.

Whereas, if you can restrain yourself long enough to calm down, one of two things usually happen:

1. You realise you had it completely wrong and overreacted to something that you now see was not nearly as bad as it first appeared (thank god you didn’t press send on THAT email!); or

2. You still feel exactly the same way and start work on a Machiavellian plan to wipe the person or business completely out of the game (that by the way, is not a physical threat to my former accountant. Just in case we need to use this in evidence).  

Now seriously, there are certain things that get my blood boiling and really do make me want to start a “don’t go near these businesses/people” website, a Name and Shame where you can feel vitriolic in venting this important information that “so and so” is not to be trusted.

There’s nothing that gets me more worked up than situations whereby someone is taking advantage, manipulating, deceitful or just flat out being a bully. I like people and businesses to do as they say they will, to care about the other party with whom they are developing a professional or personal relationship, and to just do the right thing.

Unfortunately, there are businesses out there that operate in the exact same way as schoolyard bullies, believing they can simply push and overpower at will, charge like wounded bulls without delivering a single report (ahem, that was very generic) and are not required to be accountable, they seem to believe you are just too small to give them any fight over it.

Well guess what? This woman has a voice, and every woman has a voice. Every individual has a voice, every child too. Our voice becomes strong when we are not afraid to stand up for our opinions, when we make a stand against what we believe is not right.

And we have the power (with the assistance of the ACCC!) to make a difference, to show that we are stronger than just one voice.

And, like a child who stands up to a bully, it’s amazing how much support you can gather when the truth starts to be revealed (although I’m still waiting for Justin Beiber to turn up).

Don’t let people push you, take advantage of you, hurt you or bully you. We must, as a culture, not let anyone think this is acceptable.

So take a deep breath, calm down and let things settle … then if you find you are still of the belief that things are not right, let calmness be your shield, truth your weapon, and launch a battle that brings victory knowing you can draw on the support of others who will believe in the right thing as much as you do.

What a Woman Wants is to have equality and fairness for all, but what she needs to know is she doesn’t have to stand on her own.

Till next month,

Abby x

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