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Do not fear how love can hurt you
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What Women Want June 2010

03 Jun 2010

Have we over-complicated our lives? This is a question that has been circling in my head pretty much since the cold weather arrived. Where I once sprang out of bed, ready to take on the world – and scare the dogs with my choice (or absence!) of nightwear – I now lie with the doona to my chin steadfastly trying to ignore the unimaginative chime alarm droning next to my head.

Where that alarm was once a tinkling reminder in a distant room that I was well ahead of schedule having showered, selected a gorgeous summer dress and strappy shoes, and sipping on my coffee well before it began it’s enchanting melody, it is now an unwelcome intrusion on my slumber. Its tune seems to have gone flat too.

So back to me under the doona. Not moving. Resenting the fact that I should even be asked to rise. I mean it’s WARM here, and comfortable – and you don’t have to do anything (unless you have a partner, then admittedly it is more fun to do something!). And how have I managed to create a life where there is so much to do? That HAS to be done ... like pay the bills, like turn up at work, like remember to get your kid to school – perhaps even on time. And then there’s other things that you just do on top – like pretend you care about keeping fit in winter. And somehow in all of this, it’s hard not to look around and ask “why?” Why am I doing this? Is this what I wanted for my life?

Well the truth is, it’s hard to want too much in winter apart from hot chocolate, open fires and romantic, steamy ... cuddles. Winter should really be a time when you are excused from anything exhausting, just based on a weather clause like: “it says right here in clause 17, section B, part iii that if I have a sniffle I can just opt out”.  And section F, part vii says that if you just feel a bit down with all the leaves falling off and the rain and the like, then you can change your mind about what you want to do with your life too.  Ok, ok, it’s a bit dramatic, but I really have been waking up wondering if I’m really getting closer to the life I want.

I want the same life that so many people I know want too. We want it all.  But what does that mean? For me, it’s having country property where you can breathe the fresh air; having successful businesses (I know, it requires getting out of bed!) that challenge you but also give you the freedom to travel to exotic and inspiring destinations; having a happy, beautiful family; and adding more pets to my three dogs (please don’t read this landlord!). But the key thing – is love.

Love conquers all, as they say. And without it, no rewards are quite as satisfying as with it. Independence is nothing to be sneezed at – or yawned at from under the doona! – but in my perfect world, you have a relationship where you feel loved. Love needs to be shown. It needs to be felt. It can comfort you, make you stronger, teach you and challenge you. It can conquer all, as they say, yet it can be the most elusive of all.

So my answer is, yes, we have over-complicated our lives. Not by wanting so many things, but by forgetting it often just takes one step at a time to get there. So get out of bed (this was largely said for my own benefit), get cracking and keep hold of your dreams. Just remembering why you’re doing something will often be the only motivation you need – particularly if it is something you are doing out of love – something for you, for your dreams.

Have sweet dreams under your doona this winter, but remember those dreams to make you hop out in the morning and keep going!

Have a great month,

Abby x

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Comments

  • cecilia at 2:10pm on 20/06/10

    Gentle yet effective - what a lovely post.
    Thank-you for sharing your cozy doona with me : )

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