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What Women Want - With Abby Crawford Image

What Women Want - With Abby Crawford

Winter is for comfort, right?

What Women Want July 09

02 Jul 2009

Commitment is a funny thing isn’t it? It seems to make most of us panic and give us a feeling of being locked in with no escape. It’s seen as the loss of freedom, rather than recognising having found something worthwhile.

So readily we stick to our path of independence, of making our lives for ourselves. We watch the shows and channels we want, we make decisions based on what suits us alone and rarely consult others on our choices or how we spend our quality time.

Perhaps this starts as a self-protective measure, to not be seen as needy or overwhelming, but it quickly turns into a life-long habit!

So it must come as a massive surprise when, having lived by your own rules for many years and done exactly as you please, you wake up one day and realise you’re alone! You’ve actually created blocks to ensure that even when you’re with someone you care about (even the word relationship is too much for a commitment-phobe!), you are living as a single and have clear barriers up which make sure there’s no chance of anyone hanging on. Go you!

Ok, so how’s that going for everyone? Seems like a big waste of time to me and time is something that is so valuable. Don’t let people “kill time” with you. Make decisions, make choices, commit to something to make it wonderful.

Commitment is in the heart and the mind and it’s the only way to get outstanding and spectacular outcomes.

Alright, stop groaning. Let me put this another way.

Ever seen someone win a game of tennis by showing up when they feel like it and pretending they’re not even interested in keeping their eye on the ball? Or have you seen someone successfully kick a footy through the posts by dawdling, having a bit of a scratch and just accidentally bumping into the ball? No! Of course not.

Commitment doesn’t mean you decide to never leave the tennis court until your hearse arrives, nor does it mean you’ll only ever play footy and never touch a soccer ball again. Commitment can be as much about believing that, right now, the most important thing is making sure that certain things in your life succeed.

Maybe it’s for the duration of a game, a season or a career in our footy analogy. But relationships are the same. Whether your relationship is something that lasts months, years or a lifetime, wouldn’t you rather always have it remembered or enjoyed as something that is spectacular, something that you will always be passionate about?

Commitment is nothing to be feared. If you love someone, tell them. If they can rely on you, let them know. Commitment brings deeper and deeper rewards that can simply be extraordinary. Of course, it can also make you realise you’re not going to be the footy star you first thought! There’s nothing wrong with changing the plan as you need to, but the only way you’re truly going to know is to give it a go.

Start making just a little bit of room for someone. Let them know they can rely on you, and you might find that the freedom you thought you’d lose increases to a loving, trusting world that brings you more freedom to be yourself than you ever dreamed of.

So pursue with passion a career as a tennis star, but if you decide that tennis is, indeed, not for you after all, do everyone a favour and get off the court. Life is to be enjoyed, passion is powerful and all too quickly time is gone.

Don’t forget you can email me any questions about What Women Want to (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

Abby x

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