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What Women Want - With Abby Crawford Image

What Women Want - With Abby Crawford

Do not fear how love can hurt you
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What women want - February 2014

11 Feb 2014

I was feeling so POSITIVE about 2014.

I really believed, on New Year’s Eve, the last day of 2013, that as soon as the clock ticked over into the New Year it would be an immediately remarkable and incredible start to what would surely be The Year of Our Lives. I had big plans for business, amazing thoughts of love, and a yearning for the inner peace to kick in ASAP.

Well, it’s not that it’s been a disappointing year so far, far from it. It’s just that it’s already being a quick year. And a quick year makes it really hard to achieve the list of perfectly achievable goals you wrote whilst sipping champagne on the deck overlooking the ocean at Christmas. It all seemed so reasonable then: “Get up, be brilliant, go back to bed” was all it was going to take, and I just couldn’t wait to get started.

It’s been more than a month. It’s actually been six weeks. School has gone back, we are half way through the first quarter of the year and those “achievable tasks”, like organising your office, freeing your wardrobe of outfits you haven’t worn in three years, changing accountants to ones who don’t charge you for drawing breath, starting the new “healthy you” regime that is a simple combination of healthy and natural diet, light daily jogging, progressive yoga (that’s where you progressively improve from clumsy awkward beginner to one of those guru types that can balance on just one elbow –within 12months), alcohol free weekdays and regular meditation that will see you looking 10 years younger with a peachy fresh complexion and a permanent smile of happiness and relaxation – well I have to say some of these tasks haven’t been ticked. They haven’t even started. And these aren’t even the big goals.

I am still excited by 2014, and I still have really big plans – I’m just adopting a bit more of an “ease into it” approach. And the other thing I’ve found, is that some of the goals have already been, well, …. fine tuned.

For example, I really, really thought I might find the love of my life this year, and I was even hoping for this Valentine’s Day to be the first one I don’t spend alone in 10 years. It really is a silly celebration anyway, and I really don’t care about it (spoken as only a true long-term single can say). But truly, I really don’t care now – I went on RSVP (don’t tell anyone else, it’s our little secret!) and it scared the absolute wits out of me. I must have had a secret sign on my profile that read “if you’re emotionally needy contact me”.

So I fine tuned my goals, and struck finding love off the list this year! Such a relief, it’s been the toughest goal for so many years, I decided to just get rid of things that aren’t working!

So that leaves me and 2014 with some much clearer goals, ones that are up to me rather than a complex relationship between fate, the powers that be, and cupid, to achieve.

So here they are: I am going to be a student this year and study a Diploma of Counselling (Grief and Loss, Sexual Abuse and Addiction) as last year, I was made all too aware of the desperate need of so many people in our community.  I will seriously try to be fitter and healthier, although I reserve the right to have couch nights as needed. I will streamline my business so that it operates with less stress on me, and this will allow me to have more quality time with my son. My big goal is To Be Happy, happy with my decisions, my time, my life with my family and friends.

The reason I have been able to pause, to listen to my inner voice and what I need, to understand what goals are going to be really important to me this year, is because I “eased” into it this year and thought it all through properly, rather than running with the top five thoughts masterminded with the very helpful Christmas champers.

If your goals are changing as quickly as Woolie’s can change its Christmas aisle for baskets of chocolate eggs and bunnies, maybe you should take some time to work out what’s really important to you.

Slow it all down, sit with things and think it through – and then commit. There is still plenty of time for 2014 to be The Year of our Lives.

I am looking forward to sharing this year with you.
Love Abby. Xx

PS please email me at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), and I would love you to join me on Instagram (@abbyjanecrawford) or Facebook (Abby Jane Crawford). Xx

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