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What Women Want - With Abby Crawford Image

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Do not fear how love can hurt you
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What women want -  April 2015

01 Apr 2015

When I was a little girl, my world was a safe place.

My dad’s broad shoulders carried me high above the crowds at the Easter Show, his arms were my surfboard over the waves in the ocean, and every little dress I put on for birthday parties would win his praise for my style and elegance (as only a six-year-old can do!).

My sleep was filled with dreams of ponies and ballet, of happiness and wonder, and most importantly my place in his heart was unquestionable to me. I was loved, and very secure.

As I grew up, whilst we all became busier and studies and life got more involved, the love of my father was never something I had to question. Never judging, never counselling, he would offer his opinion when asked and support whatever decision I made.

On the whole, he has been enormously proud of me and what I have achieved. But there have been more than a few occasions, when he has also been there to pick up the pieces after a few “great decisions” turned out to be disastrous.

I have known, my entire life, that I can turn to him in celebration or crisis, and be safe in his love and support. He set the bar high, showing me how it feels to trust, to be loved, to be believed in. He gave me the freedom to be completely myself in this life.

I realise how rare these qualities are, or perhaps more specifically, how rare this relationship between two people is. And when it’s there, you can actually see its existence – a connection and love that is unconditional.

I have certainly seen it exist in others – in parent/child relationships, in marriages and between close friends. It’s not something that is easy to come across, and it’s not something that can be created – it just happens when you have the right connection, and you know when this happens. Perhaps it’s the voice of your intuition, but you know when you have met someone worthy.

My previous relationships have fallen short of the secure love of my relationship with my father, and I realise how much we sometimes sacrifice what’s really important to us, perhaps because we simply believe we won’t encounter it again.

We get swept up with the fast pace of life and overlook what we truly want. We compromise.

Well, I think the time for compromise is over. Chalk up the past mistakes to learnings, and hold high the values you respect and know you deserve. Relentlessly hold on to the purity of your own worth, and know that you deserve a love that is built on honesty and trust, an extraordinary relationship that elevates you and allows you to feel safe and secure … just like a child knowing her father is never more than a few steps away if needed.

I think this type of relationship is worth being patient to find, and whilst there are plenty of people who will offer you something nice – but ultimately a lot less – well, I’d rather just wait it out until I do connect with the man of my dreams – wouldn’t you?

So here’s to holding onto our values, here’s to not compromising on what we are worth, and here’s to waiting, patiently, for someone incredibly special to make all the “learnings” worth leaving in the end.

The path might sometimes be lonely, but it’s much better to walk alone with pride, than to be walking down the wrong path and trying to settle when your heart will always yearn for what you believe could exist.

If, like me, you are single then stay strong and believe that the universe will provide that which you hold so dear. And if you have found someone special to you, nurture and develop the bond you have, and enjoy the powerful connection that comes with a secure relationship of trust and love, which ultimately give you the freedom to be completely yourself. And who better person to be, than exactly who you are.

Have a wonderful month,

Thank you for your emails. Stay in touch.
Abby x
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