Cuisine Undercover - Kobe Jones - 3.5 stars

I don’t mean to over simplify things, but really, there are only two types of Japanese food – cheap, and expensive.
The challenge Japanese food faces however is that, unlike Chinese food, where the cheap stuff is rotten and the Flower Drum kind of stuff is divine, cheap Japanese food is usually always good. Again, I don’t mean to over-simplify and, yes I know there’s more to Japanese food than this, but let’s face it – it’s hard to go wrong with sushi.
So it’s not like Kobe Jones doesn’t have its challenges. Not only has it chosen to go hard and strong on the fine dining Japanese angle, it’s chosen to do so in Docklands (riiiight down the other end of the promenade) – not to mention it now has the even flashier Robert Deneiro endorsed Nobu across the waterways to contend with.
All credit to it though. With boldly painted red walls guiding you up a stairwell and onto the often overlooked “second level” of the Waterfront City promenade, Kobe Jones stands proudly and almost defiant amongst its contemporaries. Though rarely full (or even close to crowded) on a weekday, it hardly gives the impression of caring (“Don’t want to visit? Don’t care – don’t need ya!”) and has never felt the need to downgrade its standards.
My companion and I visit on an exceptionally hot day, and welcomed the cavernous cool space gratefully as we enter. Obviously, but unfortunately, given aforementioned circumstances, staff are few on the ground and despite there only being a handful of tables occupied, it takes us some time to be seated and equipped with menus and a beverage.
The menu, when it comes, is impressive, if not a touch overwhelming. Divided into a number of categories, there is almost too much to choose from and with the “small plates” boasting similar prices to the “large plates” we weren’t quite sure what to do! An (unnecessarily) harried waitress still making great effort to be polite, helpfully points out most people often choose six meals to share, however after working out I’d have to remortgage my house to do so, we settle on choosing four dishes, listening politely as she offers some alternative selections, pointing out everything we’ve ordered is deep fried.
She’s not to know my guest is pregnant and the deep fried thing was a choice. And pregnancy aside, I refused to contemplate paying $27 for a California roll.
Our choices in the end encompassed the Crab Croquette ($28), King Crab Gyoza ($28), Chicken Teriyaki Roulade ($36) and the Mixed Vegetable Tempura ($16 – bargain!)
And here is where I do point out that jolly good Japanese food is worth the money. Those crab croquettes with a crisp, crumbly crumby exterior, almost exploded before melting smoothly in the mouth. Those Spaniards could learn a few things from the Japanese when it comes to croquettes, I tell you.
The dumplings (sorry, “Gyoza”) were beautifully brown and sticky on one side, fresh and chewy with flavours that went zing.
The chicken, tender and smoky chunks lightly bathed, not downing in a teriyaki sauce (the one dish where my guest allowed herself to be swayed on the “must be deep fried” stipulation) was a far cry from similar versions of this dish I’ve tried under the $15 mark. And the tempura – wow.
You could actually taste the charred and fresh vegetables through the light batter (always a bonus), although a touch too heavily coated.
A glass of Leo Buring Riesling helped cut through enforced fried factor for me, as did the delightful distraction of the never disappointing view of Docklands on a summer’s day.
There is no denying Kobe Jones is the “expensive” kind of Japanese food, but it also delivers the quality atmosphere and environs befitting of such prices. The food is excellent – while I shall always struggle to say such food is “worth it” while I can still pick up two California rolls for six bucks down the road, Kobe Jones delivers what you’d expect from such an establishment and if you’ve got the dough, it’s a very pleasant experience.