Trust your instincts

I remember “feeling” things with great clarity when I was a very little girl. I have, from time to time, looked back on those days and always been able to brush them aside as being times of cerebral fantasy. Or I have excused it as a case of the mind playing “tricks”.

History seems to be a series of stories that are told so often, you start to believe the fable rather than the slim pickings of truth that the bones of the story were constructed from.

I remember being able to look at a fellow playground “participant” (she had perfect black plaits with neat little white bows on the ends. I had wild blonde curls that escaped even the most vigorous clip), with knee high socks folded perfectly in line and highly polished MaryJanes, and wondering from the pit of my stomach whether or not to trust her. In hindsight, I laugh as memories suggest some kind of kindergarten Al Pacino movie, with miniature people sizing each other up with sideway glances.

I remember being slightly older – (ok by a good 10-12 years ) – and my mother’s instincts featuring strongly in my life. She would tell me frequently she “had a bad feeling” about that boy … Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t think that was actually instinct at all. I think that was just rules for teenagers. But anyway, my point is, when we were younger we seemed to live our lives a lot by gut instinct: friendships were formed on it, and lost from it, because you “just knew” what was happening even when words were not offered, or not trusted when said.

I guess as we grow up, and as a result of the occasional experience of getting something completely out of whack (sorry to my sister Jo, I no longer believe you cut a big section out of the back of my hair just to upset me, and I choose to believe there really was some gum stuck there – apparently quite a lot), we start to question our first reactions, try to ensure we’re not jumping to conclusions, wanting to know we have all the facts and, as a result, we start to stop following our instincts.

So it really infuriated – as well as liberated – me just the other day to realise that my “gut instinct” was right, I had just not trusted it enough.

I had a constant gnawing feeling about a particular person. So naturally, being a wise female, I immediately made “close” friends with them (keep thy friends close, and enemies closer).

For a couple of months, I even managed to think that maybe I was wrong – uh oh, I hear you say. And yes, it turned out she was sabotaging from the beginning. But my point is when I discovered it, I had to say to myself “you knew this was going to happen six months ago”. And whilst I was sad that I was right, I was comforted by the fact that I kind of already “knew”.

There’s something else my “instincts” have been telling me this month. Something wonderful, something incredibly special is happening. This is bringing me great joy, excitement, happiness and wonder.

My exciting projects, my new ventures, my precious discoveries, are only growing. My instincts are telling me I’m taking a path that is the best path I’ve ever been on. And my instincts are giving me the strength to commit to this path. This really is going to be a magnificent year of incredible opportunities opening up, in all areas of life. And this year, the biggest thing we can all do to nurture our most heartfelt desires and goals, is to believe in them. So trust your instincts a little more – I’m certainly going to.

Have a great month, I wonder what it will bring!

Abby x