About communication ...

Ever been in that place where your mouth opens and the words are coming out thick and fast and, at the exact same time your brain is saying “oh no please stop talking NOW”?.

Hmmm, it happens to a lot of us. In fact, I have to confess to a little foot stomp and gush of fairly ill-thought and, well, kind of LOUD, words not too long ago. Even as they were rushing out, I knew that I should be frantically trying to eat those words back. It simply wasn’t going to get the result I was after – although it felt great to have a bit of a rant!

But as empowering as it was to “throw it all out there” and see where the cards would fall, I realised it was a hollow victory. Having to later apologise totally undermined my point. And I think I forgot the point I was making.

So that got me thinking, why do we let things get to a point that it all boils over and we turn a very valid point or question, into a scene worthy of Scorsese direction? Particularly to the ones we love, we get so caught up in how we’re feeling and what they should or shouldn’t have done that we almost can create a verbal equivalent of an atomic bomb ready to go off the minute they walk in the door.

And then it came to me – so often both sides assume that the other understands where they’re at, what they meant or intended to do, and how they feel. And they often forget to TELL someone they are loved, treasured, immensely important and valued. It’s all to do with communication – the lack of it or the presence of it can make or break a relationship. Such a simple thing, yet so hard to get right!

Communication comes in many forms, and they really do all need to be present for one to feel secure and comfortable and not be second-guessing everything. Some people can talk the talk, yet their actions leave us questioning, whilst others seem to live in morbid fear of talking about their feelings and yet their actions show us they really are full of wonderful feelings toward us.

So why don’t we all help each other out a little? If you think you’ve shown how you feel, try telling someone how much you do care. You know, just in case they missed the clues? And if you are being asked to tell someone you care, maybe you just need to raise your actions a little to show them that you really do.

Women can be wonderfully loving but, at times, emotional creatures that highly value and appreciate good communication. However, we are often poor communicators ourselves.

But gentlemen, if you find yourself nodding to some of these things, just know that what women really want is to be important enough to be reassured.  And if one form of communication isn’t working, try another until you’re sure she understands. Isn’t she worth it?

Don’t forget you can email me any questions about What Women Want to [email protected]

Abby x